On War

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Bertrand Russell

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Bierce

You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

True or False

I hardly know an intellectual man, even, who is so broad and truly liberal that you can think aloud in his society.
Henry David Thoreau

Some of this is fiction.
Most of this is true.
But which is which and what is what,
I'm not telling you.
Jumper from jumperbailey.com

Staying Young

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

How about finding things that make you laugh?

Fun Things to Do

In the shopping center:

Follow people through the aisles, always staying few feet away until they leave the store.

When some one asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at five minute intervals throughout the day.

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the busy department store.

Relax in the furniture section until you get kicked out.